For what has seemed like a hundred years, I have listened to everyone call my first born child, "The Golden Child." and they have been so right in so many ways. He is good to the Core., However I've had to stand by and watch everyone say that in front of that little one, and I've worried it may have hurt her.
Someone close to me once looked at me and said, Nikolyn, Brazos got the best of both you and Ty/Woodrow, Tylee Jo She got it all, and she did! I've always known that. There is a very good reason why too. I've never said a word as it was and is probably inappropriate, but before I die I need to set the record straight, and I think she and everyone else on planet know it all earth are old enough to handle it now.
When Brazos was still a baby,I left him overnight with his Grandparents, so Woodrow and I could go on a date, to "Roys" or the Sportsman at Quitaque. When you are young, and starting your family, you are not really equipped for all of those emotions you have at once, It is absolutely one of the most invigorating, exhausting, loving times in your life. We adored Brazos, however that night was our first night alone in 6 months or so.
I have always remembered every second of that night like it was yesterday. As i write this it brings tears to my eyes, it was just that beautiful. It was one of the most erotic moments of my life and out of that night, came the "The Love Child." I absolutely know that is when it happened, I was high on life, margaritas, and still nursing, a baby, I thought just once it won't hurt, I was so caught up in the moment of all that love.
Approximately two weeks later I pulled the pick up over and threw up on the way to school. My mind went immediately back to that night, It had to be it was the only time.....we didn't .....I felt my belly and knew what was in there was special, because of that night.
She doesn't and probably has never realized in her is where I see and relive all of that love. You may not be "The Golden Child", but you are unequivocally, and irrevocably "The Love Child."
I think it's important for children to know they come from a place of special love. I've always felt remiss because, she had no real idea. We tried for three years to get Brazos, that first one, it was so special when he finally got here, then that little one came in like the hurricane she was forged in .
For 28 years I have loved you for many reasons, sometimes you have no idea, what it is like for me to see you're dad and I both in you. Happy Birthday Little One, you will always be special, You will always be "The Love Child"
Love Always
Nikolyn/Mom
