Last time I told y'all how I began this Buffalo Body Butter and Scrub venture.
For me this has truly been an eye opening unbelievable journey, a journey of the heart, a journey of love. However what I haven't told you was the complete truth of it all.
When Woodrow moved me back up here four years ago I had become somewhat of a "hermit", I still tend to retreat to the safety of the canyon walls. I am happy there, I am safe there. I was and still am completely happy in my solitude. I love being alone, with nature, the dogs, Woodrow, the horses and cows. I found so much contentment, safety, and love on my hiking adventures, I could just feel god's love and presence in every ray of sunshine and around every unexplored bend of a canyon wall. People would ask if I was ever afraid out there alone, the truth was I had never felt more safe, happy, and pure in my entire life.
The real truth is life had taken a toll on me and I didn't trust anyone anymore accept for Woodrow of course. I would not go anywhere, I felt there was nothing the world had to offer anymore that wasn't tainted. So I began, to look for the pure, the real, the authentic part of life. I felt to find it, I would have to look in purest place I knew, in nature, and I would have to do it alone. I found it and it is....I can tell you this there is not a word for it. I love it there.
Slowly, but surely Woodrow and some of you began to coax me back out, it has and is still is taking some time. The Brain Aneurysm event magnified the "Hermit Issue' as crowds have become almost intolerable. I like the solitude, I like to be alone and be able to take my heart out and live with it out in the open to see and feel everything through my heart's eye without the fear of it being hurt or disappointed, or let down.
I liked living free and wild, still do, however in order to do that for me I had to be able to see and live with my heart completely exposed. I had become addicted to the intoxicating feeling of not being afraid of your feelings and living out loud by my heart so to speak. So much so in fact I retreated and still do from social life. Only a small few were and are allowed into that world. I would share stuff on social media, but I wouldn't dare come out of my sanctuary. I still love it here.....and like I said retreat to it often.
I had turned off the TV my only contact with the outer world was pretty much social media.
Then a couple of close friends, began to push me out little by little. One made me Labels and said "Here is your label for your butter and scrub. "One said come by my house on your way to town" She had been questioning me about how I made the Body Butter and Scrub. I told her I had one Roaster oven I mixed it all in. I was all, I don't know I just make butter! Her questions and the gift of four Roaster Ovens that day when I went by her house......I just cried, It had been so long since I had people in my life that truly wanted the best for me. They didn't want anything from me they just wanted to help. They just wanted to be nice.
A couple of friends said "Hey I want to carry that butter and scrub in my store", which forced me to go to town which I had vehemently and totally had
been on full avoidance of.
I went with Woodrow to preg check yesterday, still a little timid I didn't get out of the truck. The man he was preg checking cows for made a point to come tell me how Buffalo Body Butter had helped his dryness issues. I was in shock, I think, for me this is like a dream come true. Not necessarily that I sell butter and scrub, I just am happy about the love that is involved in it all.
This is a journey one that has taken me by surprise, one that I have had to learn to trust. There have been plenty of times when I have closed my eyes and let Woodrow take my hand and lead me, I was scared to death, but I trusted and loved him, so I took his hand and followed.
Little by little It is growing into one big batch of love through the Butter.
Maybe this is it? I think sometimes Maybe this is my contribution to making the world a better place, and sharing some love along the way.... I have truly been blessed!
Love Always
Nikolyn